The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: Bleed

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never worked at a place that had posters for Full Moon Entertainment movies on the wall, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number five hundred and eighty-six, I celebrate Debuary in March with the low budget sort of slasher/mystery horror flick Bleed, which was released towards the end of December, 2002.

Bleed

Bleed, originally known as The Murder Club and directed by Dennis Petersen and Devin Hamilton (Hamilton also wrote the script), is a bizarre mega low budget mystery movie that occasionally resembles a sort of slasher movie. It’s an odd mix that generally works right up until the end, when the movie’s resolution goes off the rails because, I guess, Petersen and Hamilton wanted to end the movie with a twist. The movie doesn’t need that twist at all. It does need a sequel, though.

Bleed stars the great Debbie Rochon as Maddy Patterson, a single woman who has moved to a new town to start a new job (I have no idea what the job actually is beyond it’s in an office somewhere, and there are Full Moon movie posters on the wall). Desperate to meet people, Maddy agrees to go out with her co-worker Shawn Banning (Danny Wolske), and they hit it off immediately. Shawn invites Maddy to a big hooha pool party with his friends for some copious booze drinking and general debauchery (lots of people enjoy swimming naked at this party, both men and women, and there’s a whole thing where dudes take women’s bikini tops because that’s just what you do at this party). Maddy isn’t too keen on the whole naked thing and tries to let Shawn know that, but he doesn’t get why she’s not into the nudity. Maddy isn’t cool with Shawn messing around with Tillie (Orly Tepper), the pool party host and Shawn’s ex-girlfriend. Maddy and Shawn argue a bit, but they eventually make up and Maddy agrees to hang around for the hot tub part of the party which apparently happens at night.

Now, the hot tub part of the shindig mostly involves all of Shawn’s close friends sitting in a big hot tub, drinking and shooting the shit. Maddy is a little more comfortable with this scenario, and she starts interacting with Shawn’s friends more, especially Shawn’s best friend Chris (Allen Nabors). During this hot tub party, Shawn’s friends start talking about the “murder club” they belong to, as everyone in the tub admits to murdering someone. Maddy is initially freaked out by these stories, but then she becomes personally intrigued. A murder club? Would these people let her into the club if she, too, murdered someone?

This sudden need to murder someone doesn’t mix well with Maddy’s nightmares about murder. And these nightmares resemble the murders we see from around town involving a masked killer that could very well be Maddy wearing a white mask (she doesn’t know why she’s having the nightmares, and the movie suggests that she could be doing the killings but doesn’t remember doing them because of a psychotic break or whatever the fuck). So what the hell is going on here? Who is the killer? Why does Maddy keep having these weird dreams? What do these two things have to do with one another? Are they connected in any way?

So then some stuff happens, we find out that Maddy’s parents hated her (Maddy’s parents are played by Brinke Stevens and Lloyd Kaufman), and then Maddy actually kills a woman in a parking garage in a fit of rage. Maddy calls Shawn and has him come over to her apartment to tell him/show him what she did (she’s covered in blood). Shawn freaks out. Shawn then freaks out again when he finds out that Maddy killed the woman in the parking garage because she wanted to be a part of the Murder Club. The problem with all of that is the Murder Club isn’t real, it’s just some bullshit they came up with while sitting in the hot tub, and because no one told Maddy that it was all a joke, Shawn thinks that he and his friends could be held liable for that story.

So then some more stuff happens, Shawn informs everyone about Maddy’s situation and what she did, and the group has to figure out what to do next. Do they help Maddy clean up the mess and giver an alibi in the event the cops show up? Do they let Maddy figure it all out on her own? And while all of this is going on, the masked killer is still out there, killing people, including members of Shawn’s inner circle of friends.

And so all of these plot strands eventually come together and we find out what’s really going on. Does it make any sense? I’m not entirely sure. It might, but a movie like this shouldn’t require the audience to map out the various plot points to see if they make sense. The story should make sense all on its own while actively watching the movie. And the big twist at the end comes out of seemingly nowhere and is a big revelation, but none of what we see before that revelation seems to connect to the twist in any way whatsoever. So why do a twist ending beyond just doing one? I don’t get it.

I mean, the obvious killer is Maddy, who is killing people while wearing a mask because she’s in the midst of a psychotic break that appears every night after she falls asleep. That isn’t the movie’s solution, though. The movie goes with something else. So why have Maddy kill the woman and make a big deal out of the Murder Club idea if none of it really matters to the movie’s resolution? Even if you look at it in a sort of “E.C. Comics” way, where Maddy’s bad decision leads to a bad ending for her it still doesn’t work. The twist is unnecessary to the story.

But the twist is there and we all have to live with it. The twist does imply that there’s a potentially messed up sequel in the future taking place in Las Vegas, but, as of me writing this, that sequel hasn’t happened and there’s no hope of it happening. That stinks. If we’re going to go off the rails I want to see where the train lands once it’s done flipping and exploding and whatnot.

Up until the big twist the performance are generally excellent. Debbie Rochon is, as usual, awesome as Maddy. Rochon makes Maddy a deeply conflicted and flawed person who is just trying to get through life. She likes her new job, she initially likes her new boyfriend Shawn, and she’s interested in meeting other new people and making friends. But when you take into account her nightmares and her past (Brinke Stevens and Lloyd Kaufman do a fine job as their wackadoo parents, especially Stevens who goes full insane bitch on Maddy) it’s a wonder she’s managed to survive and live life for as long as she has. I just wish the movie played out the way the plot seemed to be going. I bet Rochon would have knocked it out of the park and made for a memorable killer (she did it once in the truly awesome American Nightmare, which I reviewed here. There’s no reason to believe she couldn’t do it again). At least she knocks it out of the park anyway in the movie where she isn’t the killer.

Danny Wolske does a fine job as Shawn, Maddy’s boss and boyfriend. Shawn starts off as a kind of loveable douchebag and becomes a different kind of douchey as the movie progresses. Wolske has decent chemistry with Rochon and you totally buy them as a new couple. You also totally buy Shawn as the kind of guy who, while trying to care about what’s happened to his girlfriend and what she’s done, he’s really more concerned about what’s going to happen to him if and when the shit hits the fan. I also want to commend Wolske for his bravery in the big “swimming while naked in the pool and then getting out and wrapping a towel around my waist while not even bothering to put on underwear and just letting it all literally hang out while I act in the next scene” scene. I mean, look at where the camera is positioned. Everyone involved in the scene knew what they were doing. Not many dudes would do that kind of thing willingly, especially back in 2002.

Allen Nabors does a fine job as Chris, Shawn’s best friend and the biggest douchebag in the movie. Yes, we’ve seen this kind of character before and Nabors doesn’t do anything new with the character, but he’s still interesting to watch. Orly Tepper is fascinating as Tillie because Tillie easily could have been the worst character in the movie. Tepper has Tillie ooze sleaze and contempt and you want to see her die, even if you don’t really know what all of the characters dying stuff is really about. And you really want to see Maddy punch her out, especially when it looks like she’s trying to flirt with Shawn.

The now late but always great Julie Strain appears at the beginning of the movie and gives one of the funniest topless female performances in movie history. Her big phone call scene is simply hilarious because it’s exactly what it looks like. It’s too bad the movie didn’t have more of her in it.

The masked killer is pretty cool looking. The killer wears a simple white plastic mask and black clothing and, while not gigantic, looks imposing. The movie could have used more of the masked killer, too. The movie’s special gore effects are kind of hit and miss. There’s a disemboweling scene that doesn’t quite look right (not enough blood), but then the big head smashing scene in the parking garage is exactly what you want to see in this kind of movie (blood everywhere).

I would really like to know what the hell kind of company Maddy works for. Does she work for Full Moon Entertainment and that’s why the hallway wall has all of the Full Moon posters on it? A sequel could explain all of this. And, yeah, it’s been almost twenty years since Bleed came out, but I think the mega low budget movie world would be okay with a sequel. Bleed 2: Club Vegas. You know you would watch it.

All in all, despite its letdown of an ending, Bleed is a worthy mega low budget mystery slasher horror flick. The movie features some decent performances and is a fine example of what Debbie Rochon can do: be awesome.

See Bleed. See it, see it, see it. It’s on Tubi right now as I write this.

So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: 9

Explosions: None.

Nudity?: Big time.

Doobage: An upbeat soundtrack, an off screen transvestite party, bad shoes, gut slitting, disemboweling, a one topless woman patio party, hammer to the head, multiple phone calls, office tour hooey, a solitary dinner with wine, multiple nightmares, off screen dinner date, sex, more nightmares, a pool party filled with drunken debauchery, douchebag guys drinking by the pool, multiple people swimming naked in the pool, girl stuff, swimsuit stealing, a herpes joke, hot tub hooey, “Murder Club” hooey, talk about chopping up a homeless guy like firewood, bed bondage, either double neck breaking or double strangulation, even more nightmares, serious head bashing, face cleaning, a big revelation about the reality of the Murder Club, knife through the back of the neck, pool electrocution, talk of Del Taco, spying, an off screen murder, dinner, an argument, dead bolt hooey, throat slitting, axe to the back, bathroom door smashing, a big twist, car trunk bondage, and the promise of a messed up sequel that hasn’t been made (yet).

Kim Richards?: None.

Gratuitous: Julie Strain, Julie Strain topless on the patio, Debbie Rochon, Debbie Rochon loving her new office chair, Full Moon Entertainment movie posters on the wall in the hallway for some reason, squirrel in a tree, a condom, Debbie Rochon walking around in an Army t-shirt, poolside grill, a guy getting pantsed, a full on wang, Miller Genuine Draft in a can, escalating crimes, bod bondage, a parking garage, night time pool sex, multiple nightmares, Brinke Stevens and Lloyd Kaufman, multiple red solo cups, a big twist, scale to the head, and the promise of a messed up sequel that we hasn’t been made (yet).

Best lines: “Welcome to Hollywood. What’s your dream? What’s your dream?,” “Fucking heels. How do chicks do this?,” “Todd, it’s me. I’m sitting here waiting for you topless in the backyard. Get the fuck home! Goodbye,” “Let’s go check out your office,” “Congratulations, Maddy,” “To Maddy, we are so proud of you,” “Murderer!,” “Sorry we’re late. Oh, it’s okay, the party hasn’t even started yet. Nobody’s naked yet,” “Dude, you need to get fucking laid,” “Oh, you are all wet. It is a pool party,” “Well, hello, I’m Tillie. Welcome to my orgy,” “I’m sorry. I can’t refuse a naked man that calls me honey,” “Come on, I want to see her tits!,” “Hey, once a member, always a member,” “This is all too freaky for me,” “So who is the first person you killed, Chris?,” “I said excuse me!,” “Who is breaking our date now?,” “Look, I think we’re all in big trouble,” “That is so not funny, Chris!,” “Damn! Look at the stars tonight!,” “Maddy, you are a whore!,” “He’s never going to admit to doing this!,” “What’s that smell?,” “That’s going to leave a mark!,” and “Always remember you brought this on yourself.”

Rating: 6.5/10.0

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Things to Watch Out For

–Monster Hunter: This is the latest video game adaptation directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and starring his wife, the great Milla Jovovich. The movie also stars the awesome Tony Jaa, and before the pandemic screwed everything up, Monster Hunter was one of the big hooha 2020 movies I wanted to see in a movie theatre on a big screen. The movie did, eventually, get a theatrical run, but it wasn’t as big of a deal as it should have been. The reviews that I have seen for the movie have been favorable, and, even with the lack of a big screen experience, this is definitely something I want to check out. Will it be a new franchise? I guess we’ll find out. Anyone out there see this? Anyone at all?

–Redemption Day: This low budget action flick came out a few weeks ago, and it’s got some buzz behind it. Gary Dourdan is the star, and the plot involves his character, a badass Special Forces operator who has to rescue his kidnapped wife from bad guys. Andy Garcia, Ernie Hudson, and Robert Knepper are in the cast, and the action in the trailer looks pretty good. I would say, based on all of those factors, that Redemption Day is a must see (or a rental at least). I wish we had more low budget action flicks that looked like this one.

–Scare Me: This horror comedy, from writer/director Josh Ruben, is on Shudder at the moment, but, like far too many things on Shudder, it’s something I haven’t had a chance to watch yet. Horror comedies are typically hard to pull off, so I’m curious to see if Ruben and company manage to pull this off. My God, I’ve got so many things that I need to watch. Anyone out there see this one?

–400 Bullets: This low budget action flick comes to us from the fine folks at Shout! Factory and it looks kind of decent. It involves two soldiers who, while in Afghanistan, have to band together to fight off various bad guys, at least that’s what I think it’s about. Most of the plot descriptions I’ve seen for the movie want you to know that it’s full of action and thrills, which is cool and all, but what is the plot for the thrills and action and whatnot? And does the movie mostly take place at night? Is it one of those weird action movies? Regardless, I still want to see it, and, ultimately, if it comes to us from Shout! Factory, you know the home video presentation will be great, regardless of whether or not the actual movie is. I do have some mild high hopes, though, as the writer/director is Tom Paton, who has a track record with this kind of low budget action movie (he did both Black Site and Black Ops).

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Next Issue: It’s the horror comedy sequel Leprechaun 2!

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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.

B-movies rule. Always remember that.

Bleed

Debbie Rochon– Maddy Patterson
Danny Wolske– Shawn Banning
Allen Nabors– Chris
Orly Tepper– Tillie
Ronnie Gene Blevins– Peter
Laura Nativo– Laura
Julie Strain– Linda
Brinke Stevens– Phyllis Patterson
Lloyd Kaufman– Carl Patterson

(check out the rest of the cast here)

Directed by Devin Hamilton and Dennis Petersen
Screenplay by Devin Hamilton

Distributed by Full Moon Entertainment and Shadow Entertainment

Rated R for strong violence and gore, sexuality, and language
Runtime– 85 minutes

Buy it here